It’s More Than Just a Name.
That is so unique! How’d your mom come up with that? What country is this from? What does that mean?
If you are like me, then you already know these are the common questions following the announcement of your name. Immediately after introducing your self you are bombarded with a vast amount of open-ending ass questions that ME personally I never have an answer for.
My name is Shapora. Not Shapiro Shapara, ShaQoura and definitely far from SEPHORA. Seven letters which all sound exactly how are they spelled in the correct order. Yet the name is slaughtered every time it’s pronounced or is viewed on paper.
If I say my name they can’t spell it, If I write my name they can’t pronounce it. Never fails.
I have a bittersweet relationship with my name. More bitter than sweet, I love it some days and hate it every other day. The name is my own I know no one else with it. I can make a username on most sites and not need to put any numbers behind it because it is THAT unique, no one else has even thought of it. Its not a place, person or materialistic item that can be acquired. Its a naturally unique name.
My mother, a creative angelic soul, she is one of a kind. She has no fabulous story behind the name, its just what she chose. She always tells me how beautiful the name is to her. When having a baby a woman should be able to choose the prettiest name she fits best for her child, and she did.
I use to get frustrated and say things to her like
“Why’d you give me this stupid ghetto name mom! I hate it! I’ll never get a good job,”
I actually meant every word that I said. I hated the name, I hated walking into a interview and seeing the confusion on their face as I repeated my name over and over and until they “got it right”. I hated correcting school teachers who always ask “Am I saying it correctly?” after saying it wrong. I hated being asked “How do you spell that?” being followed by “Oh, exactly like it sounds”.
Some of my people in the community would just upright and tell me “That name is ghetto as hell” with no shame. I hated it. I wanted to be called everything but my name.
A friend of mine who has a similar uncommon name was telling me how she shortened the lettering in her name thus making it “Lynn” on Indeed and received 20+ more hits in a matter of a few days.
Common names are more attractive because simplicity is comforting. Everyone is looking to be comfortable. Why spend 10 minutes trying to figure out if its “Daejanique or Danjanique” when I can just call Lisa and see if she has time for an interview on Monday. I’ve already looked at forty other applications and I’m ready to go home. (From the mind of a supervisor)
Now, I also understand the name barrier has also saved me from working with racist neanderthal sons-of-bitches who seen my name and said this bamboo earring wearing bitch couldn’t work here if she had seven degrees. The biggest issue I’ve always held with the name is it not a common black name so it makes me not only black on paper, but black AND ghetto on paper. Yes, I have to separate the two. Keisha, Shantay, Evelyn and Angela are strong black women names that have been accepted into the corporate world. They are more common, no matter what race you are, we all know someone with these names. The rest of us mostly ending in unique, starting with Sha and the car, place, royalty, king black names are in the ghetto bucket. They are throwing our resumes out. They are expecting us to be loud and ratchet. When they hear the name they are already assuming we are black, and not good enough for their business.
The older I’ve got, I learned more about different countries and cultures. I’ve seen that to someone every one’s name is different. People name their children after things that mean something to them, things they take pride in. Names that they find truly admirable and worthy enough to place on their most loved possession. Most of us with “ghetto” names are named after our fathers, grand mothers, and home land’s. We should be able to be proud of that.
Once I realized that, I no longer could be mad at my mother. It’s not her fault the world we live in looks for reasons to judge people every chance they get. Especially black people, at my job they can pronounce every other ethnic name which I barely could get down but cant get Shapora right.
Regardless if your name is Josh and you’re black as hell and you hate it due to the fact its common and you would rather be named Tyrone. If you’re name is Lufadick and you’re still trying to figure out what drink your dad passed your mom to write that shit down. Wear it high! Walk in anywhere and say that name like you would Jesus! Don’t let anyone mispronounce it either! Make ’em say it til they get it right.
Lastly, to my new mothers when choosing your childs name please consider these things. Remember that your baby is not going to be a baby forever, they have to grow up, they have to say this name confidently no matter the situation. They have to find a job, I understand PassionOnita is a cute ass name for a girl, it is! But baby girl already has enough barriers in her way, the race is not easy, don’t make her name another one.
SN: take that last one serious, some of y’all take it too far. You want to name the baby after the father get more creative than just his name and adding an A at the end. You may think it is fly to name you’re child after a fascinating word, fruit,or place. Those nick name, around the house names. They will never look appealing when walking in to get a job. Choose wisely.
